Fairmont, WV – A culinary revolution is brewing, and it smells suspiciously like cilantro and simmering carne asada. Forget the pepperoni roll’s iron grip on the local palate; three new Mexican restaurants are poised to turn this quiet Appalachian town into a sizzling fiesta.
First, there’s Armagedón Taqueria, a self-proclaimed authentic experience run by Chad Dornswick, who spent a week in Cancun and now considers himself a certified taco shaman. Chad’s menu boasts ancestral recipes like the Mountain Mama Mole (a chocolate-gravy hybrid) and the Coal Miner’s Carnitas (pulled pork smoked with black pepper).
“I’m bringing the real deal to Fairmont,” Dornswick declared, adjusting his flat bill baseball cap. “People around here need to experience the vibrant, spicy explosion that is my interpretation of Mexican cuisine.” His signature dish, the Volcano Burrito, involves a mountain of rice, beans, and questionable meat, topped with enough sour cream to drown a small chihuahua.
Then there’s El Gringo Grande, a neon-drenched establishment promising Tex-Mex with a twist. Their twist? Everything is deep-fried. The Fried Fiesta Platter features deep-fried tacos, deep-fried enchiladas, and, for the truly adventurous, deep-fried guacamole. The owner, a former underwater welder from Pheonix named Rusty Dent, insists his food is “cutting-edge. We’re taking the classics and giving them a good ol’ West Virginia fry-up! We’re talking golden-brown goodness that’ll stick to your ribs and maybe your arteries!”
El Gringo Grande’s decor is going to be a sensory assault, featuring flashing lights, piñatas filled with discount candy, and a mural depicting a chihuahua riding a mechanical bull. The restaurant’s soundtrack alternates between mariachi covers of 80s hair metal and the incessant whir of the deep
Finally, there’s Taco Tranquility, a farm-to-table Mexican bistro run by a group of yoga enthusiasts. Their menu features organic, gluten-free, and vegan-friendly options, like the Kale and Quinoa Quesadilla and the Chia Seed Chimichanga. “We believe in mindful eating,” explained Harmony Dratch, the restaurant’s co-owner, while demonstrating a downward-facing dog pose. “Our dishes are crafted with love and intention, using only the freshest, locally sourced ingredients.”
Taco Tranquility’s ambiance is a stark contrast to the other two establishments. Soft lighting, bamboo accents, and the gentle sounds of pan flute music create a serene atmosphere. However, the restaurant’s prices are anything but tranquil. A single Mindful Margarita costs more than a week’s worth of pepperoni rolls.
The arrival of these three wildly different Mexican restaurants will certainly cause a stir in Fairmont. The popularity of El Rey, Plaza Jalisco, Chipotle, Taco Bell & Mi Pueblo has most likely been the catalyst of the flurry of new Mexican cuisine.
The real question is: can these new Mexican restaurants survive in a town where the pepperoni roll reigns supreme? Will Armagedón Taqueria mole conquer the Friendly City? Will El Gringo Grande’s deep-fried delights become a local legend? Maybe, Taco Tranquility’s chia seed chimichangas usher in a new era of mindful munching?
Only time, and the stomachs of Fairmont’s residents, will tell. One thing is certain: Fairmont’s culinary landscape has been irrevocably changed, and the pepperoni roll is finally facing some serious competition. Whether that competition is worthy of its salt, remains to be seen.
